When Ben Affleck & Ana de Armas were first pap-strolling in the middle of the friggin’ pandemic this spring, I was so annoyed with them. They *already* looked like giant dumbasses all on their own. Then something even more annoying happened: Ben’s ex-wife Jennifer Garner began organizing competing pap strolls with their children (and a cat in a stroller) as a way to remind everyone of her existence. Like, it was blatant celebrity “counter-programming” to Afflarmas and it was such a “don’t forget about meeeee” desperado move. I bring this up because, well, Angelina Jolie is pulling a Jennifer Garner. And it’s so painful. It’s painful for me to admit that, and it’s painful to see Angelina do this sh-t.
Angelina stepped out with her kids – I think all of them? – yesterday in LA, where they’ve all been locked down since March. They went to Nobu, an old-school celebrity hotspot and a place that (I assume) paparazzi still stake out on a regular basis. Angelina clearly knows the paparazzi are there and you can see her looking at them. She even got dressed up in a shiny copper-colored sack dress for the occasion. The point is that she wanted to be seen and photographed. She wanted these images out there, a single mother and her children, wearing masks and enjoying a dinner at Nobu.
It’s the timing. Because that’s what makes this a Garner move. Two days ago, we saw Brad Pitt begin to roll out his girlfriend, an “Angelina Jolie look-alike” only German and 27 years old. Brad Pitt already looks like a sad douche in the throes of a nasty midlife crisis. Angelina didn’t need to underline the point. She didn’t need to do the glamorous-single-mother pap stroll. I’m so sad for her that she did this. I mean, I still love her. But damn, my girl makes some bad calls sometimes. All of the Jolie stans would have been fine with simply defending her and not seeing her at the moment.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.